End The Chaos In Human Relations: How About Talking Instead Of Building? We live in a culture of blame; “Who is at fault and how can I make them pay?” we think. We are so used to shouting and pointing at each other with empty words that when we get tired of fighting and calm down, we are not able to develop meaningful results.
I say bullshit because most of the conclusions we make are based on assumptions we make. And they are often wrong. More than 90% of the beliefs we store in our minds are lies, and unfortunately, it is our belief in these lies that causes us suffering. We don’t even realize we’re making assumptions between our habits and routine behavior.
We believe so deeply in the stories we write in our heads and the assumptions we make that we don’t even think to ask the truth. People make assumptions, take it personally, get it wrong, and create a whole drama out of nothing. We only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. And because we are always right, we constantly blame the other side.
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End The Chaos In Human Relations: How About Talking Instead Of Building? As if the assumptions we made weren’t enough, we want people to make assumptions about us too. We assume that the other person knows us, and we expect them to do what we want without expressing how we feel. Then if he doesn’t act the way we want, we’re taken. Doesn’t it sound crazy when you read it? In a world where everyone is trying to communicate with the same beliefs, can you see the reason for the chaos we experience in human relations? While I don’t know myself yet, I expect you to know me better than I do. How much do you know yourself, how much do you convey to me so that I can read your mind? Don’t go crazy.
However, what we need to do is to realize the stories that the mind writes and the assumptions it makes with what it has learned from past experiences, from our family and society. Before we come to a conclusion about someone else, we ask ourselves, “Can I be 100% sure that this thought is correct?” to ask. With your honest answer to this question, if you still don’t feel relieved when you realize you’re making an assumption, you can ask the other hero a question to find out the truth of the story.
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At least that’s what I do. I ask questions when I catch myself starting to write a story about the other person. I’m asking everything I don’t understand. Until I feel comfortable, until I get the answers to my questions, I ask little by little. When everything is clear and clear, I don’t have to make assumptions.
Instead of throwing the responsibility on the other side with statements such as “he does not understand, hear, does not fulfill my wishes”, I say that we should first look at our way of communication. Do we communicate compassionately? Or can we be humiliating, judging, blaming the other party without realizing it? Would it be bad if there was less anger and deeper communication? What would our relationships be like if we blamed less but respected boundaries more?
