What is Frenemy? How To Deal With Frenemies; You have a friend that you love and that you think loves you too. However, your friend’s actions are a bit unstable towards you. Sometimes he/she glorifies you, he/she always acts as if he/she will support you, at other times he/she taunts you, belittles your successes, and implies that you act worthy of any injustice when you are wronged. Beware, your friend may be a frenemy.
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Titles Included in Content
What is Frenemy?
Frenemy is a word formed from the synthesis of the words “friend” and “enemy” and is used to describe people who approach us as friends but who harbor hostility towards us. First used by the American journalist Walter Winchell in 1953, the term refers to relationships in which two or more people embody the roles of friend and foe at the same time.
How Can You Understand If You Have a Frenemy?
Frenemys can actually be divided into two. The first group is the ones that are already obvious to you, and the second group is the ones that go silently and deeply. If your close friend constantly sees and voices negative things about you or blames you for every private thing you tell him, it’s not hard to see that your friend is a danger to you. The second group “frenemy”, that is, those who go silently and deeply, is very difficult to detect. One of the most distinctive features of a frenemy is that it is in constant competition with you.
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- If your friend sees you as a competitor,
- If your friend doesn’t give importance to your feelings and takes a believable attitude towards them,
- If your friend’ jokes leave a bad taste in your mouth,
- If your friend is talking behind your back,
- If your friend is not happy with your success,
Your friend may be a frenemy.
So Why Do We Find Ourselves Frenemy?
If we grew up in a home environment where we were not treated very well as children, it is not surprising to find a friend from the “frenemy” tribe now as an adult. Let’s look at the other side of the coin and ask the question: What could a frenemy gain from such a relationship?
Maybe this person has problems with their self-confidence, and because of this insecurity they feel inside, the failures and unhappiness of those whom they treat as friends but with whom they secretly harbor enmity may make them happy. Again, this person may be exhibiting this type of behavior now as an adult because of a childhood where they were emotionally or physically abused. There can be many reasons for both being frenemy and having such a friend in your life.
How To Deal With Frenemies?
If frenemy is already in your group of friends, then suddenly removing him from your life can make things worse. Remember, he has a lot of information about you, a lot of things he can use against you. So continue to be friends with him. But keep your relationship going by talking less and only sharing superficial matters. End your conversations without ever telling him about your private matters, your goals, your plans, or your views on others. In this way, problems will not arise easily from a distance relationship.
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Conclusion
Of course, we may argue with our friends once in a while, we may not agree with them. But in the last instance, friends should be people who make us happy and support us with their presence, right? If you often feel unhappy because of a friend, it is a good idea to reconsider your friendship with him. If you think you have a frenemy in your life because of a traumatic childhood, do yourself a favor and consult a psychologist.
