What Is Limerence; Have you ever felt overwhelming love or admiration for someone? If you answer this question positively, we have two options: What you felt was either true love or limerence. Let’s examine together the concept of limerence, which is extremely difficult to understand and can lead to the destruction of boundaries in romantic relationships.
You may be interested: What Should You Do To Find The Answers You Seek In Your Dreams?
Titles Included in Content
What is Limerence?
Limerence is a concept introduced by American psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s. Generally considered within the field of psychology, it describes a tendency activated by the influence of the dopamine hormone. People with this tendency feel an obsessive love for the individual with whom they have or want to have a romantic relationship. Because of this feeling, people constantly miss the person in front of them and cannot think of anything else.
Forgetting important responsibilities such as work and education is also included in this state of mind. As you can see, people who experience it have only one person in mind, and the individuals in question believe that they cannot continue their lives without this person.
When examined for the first time, limerence is interpreted as love at first sight, but this concept is actually a harbinger of a negative situation. In other words, while people in love can continue their lives, individuals with it suffer in every aspect, especially their mood. In short, because of limerence, certain people are deified and spending time apart from these people becomes a cruelty. Limerence, which is a very different phenomenon from true love, also includes a concept called ‘limerence object’. The Limerence object describes the person to whom people experiencing limerence feel a feeling that seems like great love.
What are the Stages of Limerence?
The first phase of limerence, which basically consists of three phases, is known as bonding. The individual begins to develop a romantic bond with any person during this stage. As time passes, this bond becomes stronger and the feeling that is thought to be love manifests itself. Because of this feeling, the individual becomes tightly attached to the person with whom he creates a relationship channel and has great trust in him. In fact, this person’s false statements and attitudes are ignored.
You may be interested: Font Generator
After the idea that any person is special is developed in the first stage, the second stage, known as crystallization, begins. In this phase, the individual’s love for the other person becomes stronger and it becomes inseparable from the person in question. In crystallization, where the fear of loss arises, the individual leaves aside his own wishes and beliefs and begins to live only according to the wishes and beliefs of the other person.
In the last stage of deterioration, a state of panic begins to surround the individual. Because of this panic, the individual tries to avoid losing the other person by using everything from sexuality to intelligence. Additionally, the situation of putting pressure on the other party and constantly controlling them also develops in this phase. For example, if a person secretly searches through his partner’s mobile phone or constantly calls his partner to find out where he is, we can say that this person is in the degradation phase. Because of the panic in this stage, the individual may often express the desire to formalize the romantic relationship with situations such as marriage.
How to Distinguish Between Love and Limerence?
Although true love and limerence can produce similar symptoms, there are major differences between these two concepts. First of all, we would like to point out that love is an emotion and limerence is a toxic experience. While limerence includes disturbing behaviors, we should also emphasize that love includes positive attitudes and emotions. For example, limerence often brings disappointment and intense sadness, while true love brings with it passion, respect, trust, comfort and loyalty.
People who are truly in love often feel that although they are committed to their partners, they can survive on their own in case of separation. Since it develops obsession, it is thought that it is impossible to live apart from the object of limerence. As you can see, the feeling of love does not break away from reality, but because of limerence, the individual moves away from reality and tries to continue his daily life with the possible threats he constantly feels about his relationship.
You may be interested: Does It Make Sense To Go To Cappadocia In Summer?
How to Deal with Limerence?
If you think you are suffering from limerence, you should really try to get to know your partner or the person you want to partner with. During this recognition process, you should take care to notice the characteristics of the other person that do not suit you and to understand that these characteristics may negatively affect your life. Then, you should continue on your way by knowing and loving yourself. Thanks to the self-love you show to yourself, you can better understand what you deserve and what you do not deserve and do not want. You can also seek help from a professional, accepting that it will take time to eliminate and heal it.
