Survivor’s guilt is a person’s guilt for surviving a life-threatening situation when others cannot escape. It is a common reaction to traumatic events and is a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder. These events can range from a minor incident, such as a friend breaking his ankle while skiing together, to a major incident, such as a plane crash in which others died but you survived.
Of course, traumatic events like the second example can lead to a stronger sense of guilt and post-traumatic stress disorder. Other events that can lead to survivors’ guilt include mass shootings, natural disasters, traffic accidents and life-changing events such as the COVID-19 pandemic. In this article, we will examine the case of survivor’s guilt and focus on its symptoms and causes.
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What is Survivor’s Guilt?
When you escape unharmed while others suffer after a traumatic event, you will likely ask yourself the question over and over again: “Why me?” Even if you are not the person directly affected, it can still disturb and confuse you. You may even think that you do not deserve forgiveness when others are suffering. As a common reaction, you may feel responsible for what happened, asking yourself if you could change something. But mostly the situation is out of your control and what happened is not your fault.
Survivors of a traumatic event;
- They may feel guilty for surviving.
- They may feel guilty because they believe they can do more to save the lives of others.
- They may feel guilty that someone else lost their life while saving them.
- Survivor’s guilt is considered a symptom rather than a specific mental health condition. Still, that doesn’t make it any less serious.
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What Are the Symptoms of Survivor’s Guilt?
Survivor’s guilt status, size and severity vary from person to person. Survivor’s guilt symptoms can be both psychological and physical and often mimic those of post-traumatic stress disorder.
The most common symptoms are:
- Feelings of helplessness
- Returning to the traumatic event repeatedly
- Concentration problems, confusion
- Irritability
- Lack of motivation
- Mood swings and outbursts of anger
- Obsessive thoughts about the event
- Suicidal thoughts
- Appetite changes
- Difficulty sleeping and nightmares
- Headache
- Nausea or stomach pain
Even if you can’t do anything to change what happened, you may feel a sense of personal responsibility for the event and develop distorted, overly negative beliefs about yourself or the world in general:
- You may start to see yourself as a bad person and believe you deserve some kind of punishment.
- You may think you can’t trust anyone.
- You may question your spiritual beliefs.
- You may consider the world a completely unfair or dangerous place.
Survivor’s guilt can have a serious impact on a person’s life and functioning. When not handled in a healthy way, it can lead to different mental health problems as well as post-traumatic stress disorder, including depression, anxiety and substance use disorder.
How Can We Cope With Survivor’s Guilt?
If you are experiencing symptoms of the type we have described in detail above, remember that it is very important to get appropriate treatment. These feelings of guilt not only lower your mental health and quality of life, but can also pose serious risks, especially if other symptoms are present.
Experts say that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be particularly effective in dealing with survivor’s feelings of guilt. Through CBT, clients work with a therapist to discover the automatic negative thoughts that contribute to their feelings of guilt. Examining unrealistic thoughts and replacing them with more realistic ones can help alleviate feelings of guilt and self-blame. Other forms of psychotherapy include group therapy and support groups, and medications can also contribute to the treatment of survivor guilt symptoms.
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Strategies for Dealing with Survivor’s Guilt on Your Own
If you find yourself feeling guilty after an unpleasant event, turn to things you can do to manage those feelings.
Here are some self-help strategies that can help:
- Allow suffering. It is important to acknowledge that there are people who have been lost and to allow for mourning. Take your time and do everything at your own pace.
- Multiply the good. Whether for yourself or for others, take these feelings and channel them into making a positive change in the world. Sometimes just doing simple things for someone else can ease the guilt you experience.
- Focus on the external factors that led to the event. Shifting your focus to the external variables that create the situation can help you stop “self-blame” that leads to feelings of guilt.
- Practice self-forgiveness. Even if your actions are responsible for hurting another person, learning how to forgive yourself can help you move forward and gain a positive outlook.
- Remember that the feelings of guilt you experience are common. Experiencing guilt doesn’t mean you did something wrong and are guilty for it. Sadness, fear, anxiety, grief, and yes, guilt are perfectly normal reactions after a tragedy. You can be happy to be lucky enough to survive and mourn the loss of others at the same time.
